My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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