Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize