so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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