Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm really busy with my period
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