____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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