I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
