I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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