If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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