Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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