Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
