we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
