i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
