none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
