Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
