I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize