If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize