she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
