:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i believe in u and ur pee
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
