So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
