There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
