so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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