no, he came in my armpit
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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