so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize