: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize