the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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