I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sober January is a disaster.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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