Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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