No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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