i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize