Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he's gonorrhea incarnate
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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