dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
