i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
