i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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