You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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