He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize