my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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