Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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