This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
