do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
