So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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