i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
