so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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