Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.