Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.