its not stalking. its research.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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