Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?