Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(714): View more from California

im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF http://tfl.nu/bxu6

Replies (12) Good night (2133) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair

(573): View more from Missouri

Found more tequila

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair (573): Found more tequila http://tfl.nu/cg6k

Replies (9) Good night (4477) Bad night (438)
Favorite
(254): View more from Texas

Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(254): Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way? http://tfl.nu/etox

Replies (24) Good night (4995) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

(720): View more from Colorado

ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

(917): View more from New York City

no it doesn't.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89

Replies (34) Good night (18236) Bad night (1194)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to http://tfl.nu/cyq1

Replies (13) Good night (4754) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(309): View more from Illinois

The "puke-towel" started to grow something...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(309): The "puke-towel" started to grow something... http://tfl.nu/d1rv

Replies (10) Good night (650) Bad night (4714) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(775): View more from Nevada

Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(775): Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I. http://tfl.nu/56to

Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (2431) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love. http://tfl.nu/g8jj

Replies (6) Good night (3216) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(701): View more from North Dakota

I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(701): I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with. http://tfl.nu/j9h4

Replies (4) Good night (1604) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust http://tfl.nu/y8q4

Replies (13) Good night (2195) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table' http://tfl.nu/avs4

Replies (4) Good night (3578) Bad night (499)
Favorite
(828): View more from North Carolina

NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(828): NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE http://tfl.nu/lvmw

Replies (6) Good night (463) Bad night (1465) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(707): View more from California

That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on http://tfl.nu/xdbh

Replies (1) Good night (1065) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station. http://tfl.nu/qovz

Replies (1) Good night (381) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(775): View more from Nevada

He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(775): He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there http://tfl.nu/7cfh

Replies (8) Good night (782) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: