I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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