ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
