hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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