That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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