Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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