The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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