Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
