I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i came on her dog
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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