You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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