none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
