there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
17 year olds will be the death of me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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