DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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