i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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