I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
