i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
