i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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