If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
