I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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