You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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