That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
