Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I party with great urgency now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize